Saturday, June 7, 2008

Lubbock Service

Darlene (Dale’s sister) open w/ intro and the following reading:
Who Can Ever Come Between Us and The Love Of Christ?: Romans 8:31-35. 37-39
A reading from the letter of Paul to the Romans
What then shall we say to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him? Who will bring a charge against God's chosen ones? It is God who acquits us. Who will condemn? It is Christ (Jesus) who died, rather, was raised, who also is at the right hand of God, who indeed intercedes for us. What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril or the sword? No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Bami (Dale’s Daughter):
I am sure that before today is over I will have had more than half of you tell me “I haven’t seen you since you were this big!” …… and that is precisely why we are here today.
This is where my dad was born and raised. As a matter of fact my aunt Diane informed me that they use to sneak into this very church to move the pews around so they could roller-skate and ride their bikes when they were little.
There is always something about coming back to where you grew up. Whether you move away for a decade or go out of town for a week “home” is what it feels like when you reach the city limits.

My brother Beau and I live in Austin now and my dad has lived in Corpus Christi for the last 15 years but nothing can describe what it feels like to come home and drive by your old school, eat at your favorite local restaurant, or see a hometown football game. Dad always joked that even the dirt in west TX has its own distinct smell.
My dad loved it here.
This service will be a little different then most. There will be no preacher (just a girl that loves her daddy and an brother that never thought Anyone would ever give him a key to a church – so if David looks a little uncomfortable, ya’ll give him a break). There won’t be any songs being sung (really b/c we all just want to get to the good stuff – the food) and this will not be a drawn out service (simply because my dad was never comfortable with people fussing over him). Hopefully there will be worship (this is a church after all) and maybe a little reflection of your own lives. But most of all I hope everyone walks out of here today feeling loved.
My dad made big impact on a lot of people and I know for a fact he loved all of you. So my hope today is that you let that love resonate within you tonight.

I want to thank all of you for coming this evening to honor and remember the life of Dale Glenn McDougal. We sure do appreciate you joining us in this celebration of my dad.

David McDougal (Dale’s Brother) spoke beautifully about the warrior Dale was in every aspect of his life…

Where do I begin…?...
I believe all the McDougal’s have this disease.
You all know we can talk and make a short story really long. But when we are faced with something that overwhelms our heart…. We don’t quite know where to start or what to say. By the way, this would be the ONLY time you can find one of us speechless.

I think all the McDougal’s are born with the gift of gab but we are also blessed with amazing hearts. It’s no secret that when it comes to passion and love we either go big or go home.
My dad was a prime example of this.

It’s hard to put into words the extent of his love because it was different and unique to each person he called friend, family, or stranger. You can’t help to but be attracted to my dad, perhaps because his kindness is so infectious.
It was so hard to have a bad dad around him and yet so easy to cry on his shoulder if you needed to. His ability to accept what ever came his way was beyond this world.

I can’t tell you how many things are coming up in my adult life that cause me to reflect and look backwards; I never thought about my dad being a shining example of certain things. Especially a subject like marriage. My mom and dad’s divorce was really painful and it was the one thing we didn’t talk a lot about.

It’s funny how God gives us these little windows of opportunity throughout our lives though. Some things have a way of coming around full circle. You just have to listen closely and keep you eyes and heart open.

The more I think about it I realize: my dad WAS a perfect example of want a husband should be, when it comes to the things that matter most. He loved my mom with all of his heart. He truly did want to give her the moon. He never spoke ill of her to my brother or I even after they separated. And long after their divorce he would still have loving words to describe her.

I won’t bore you with the detail but I am married to the most wonderful man on the planet and when he looks at me w/ adoring eyes or chases me around the living room sometimes I can’t help but remember things about my parents and it makes me smile.

My dad had every job under the sun but none of which seemed to bring home consistent paychecks. He always had a brilliant idea and was never afraid to swing for the fences.
Unfortunately he also trusted everyone so “hitting a few bumps in road” quickly became an understatement. And yet, the fact that my dad still respected and never judged people that may have forsaken him leaves me with great admiration. After all, the bond of a handshake, or to say, “I give you my word” should mean something (even in today’s society). When my dad was wronged or treated unfairly he never lost faith in people….
Maybe because he knew it was quite possible that they just didn’t have faith in themselves.

I have always loved hearing stories about my dad’s youth. I’m SURE all of you here today have some whoppers you could tell. As children sometimes it’s hard to picture your parents being young and crazy. I can honestly say that I was never surprised or shocked by the tales told about my dad.
He has this way about him.
Charismatic and full of life – it’s just not that hard to picture him drinking in a watermelon patch and blaming the coyotes. OR gallivanting throughout Europe with minimal funds to find Texas girls at a pub in the middle of nowhere… that just happened to be kind enough to help him get home.

How much fun was my dad?

I am SO glad we are here today!

We had a beautiful service in Corpus Christi Thursday morning. The church was packed full of people that had great admiration and love for my dad. I am certain most all of them knew exactly where he was from.
It would not be shocking to discover that they even knew stories of some of you.

As crazy as life gets, don’t be surprised, if you’re brave enough to open up a conversation with a stranger -- sitting beside could be someone who knew my dad. If so, the funny story you choose to share may have them replying: “that was you!” ….. It’s a small world after all and my dad talked about Everyone he love.

When dad moved to Corpus he started a new life there with a woman he described as a spunky red head. I was skeptical at first, but when I met her and she told me about the blind date she was hesitant to accept.
My heart turned to butter.
She described without hesitation a man that walked into this bar with a cowboy hat on and a smile that light up the room….. all she could think about was “Oh sh@t… I’m in trouble”.
Sally had never been married and didn’t have any children. She thought perhaps her prince would never come.
Then she met Dale McDougal.
It was happy days for that moment on. There was never a reason to doubt her love for him because it was always crystal clear.
Sally is not here with us today and she is greatly missed. The pain she is going through cannot be described with words. For all of us are grieving, but this woman cannot fathom as to how she will make it through a day with out him.
They had made a life built on love and a mutual understanding of one another. And this devastation is shaking her world to the core.
Because of this I ask for your prayers. That God give her strength and reassurance. And that she realize, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she will see him soon enough in heaven.
I know I for one am looking forward to meeting the man my dad was meant to be: hemophilia free, body strong, and spirit limitless.
You see my dad was bound and held down in this world.

The eulogy I delivered in Corpus described him to be a man resembling Jesus himself.
We ALL are called to be this way.
My dad, very eloquently and with few words, lead by example by showing compassion and understanding, taking time to listen and never judge, by giving generously and freely expecting little or nothing in return, lending his hand to anyone who would take it, and loving with is whole heart (even if it left it exposed and raw).

I encourage all of you that cared for my dad to grab a computer and look at the blog my husband Brian and I put together a few days ago. Our intent was to give all of you the opportunity to post your own stories and comments. In it you will find the eulogy I wrote and read Thursday as well as an e-mail I had sent out the day after I lost my dad. I wanted to reach out and describe to all the people that love me how I was feeling in this moment.

The responses to that e-mail are overwhelming. I have read over 60 replies in less than 48 hrs. of heart felt words and several personal struggles. Brian received a very special message last night from his Kappa Sigma little brother Rodney. We would like to share that with you now.

Brian Wood (Dale’s Son in Law)read the following e-mail from very good friend who had lost his daughter and father, both in accidents:

Brian & Bami,

I am so sorry to hear the news of Dale's passing. Having lost my daughter & father suddenly too, I know the pain that you are experiencing. I am happy to see that your faith is strong in Christ. Like me, I'm sure that you are asking "why?" My wife and I ask that same question of God, never getting a response. Perhaps He won't give it to us because He knows that no reason will be good enough for us....I don't know. In my heart of hearts, I know that both my father and daughter were taken from me so that I will draw on God's strength and worship Him like I should. Unfortunately, for me, I let anger get in my way and cloud my spiritual judgment. Doing so makes life hard.

I tell you this because I want you to realize that it is OK to be mad at God but don't veer off course like me and let your earthly feelings take control of you. Keep your eye on the prize (serving Christ & securing your place in heaven). I promise you that you will be better off for doing so.

I love you both and will pray for you. We are here for you.



In closing:
My dad left a legacy that my brother and I are proud to carry and pass down to our children and children’s children. He also passed it to you – all of his friends and loved ones that he cared so deeply for. So as you go home tonight please carry with you this message:
If your heart is prompting you to do something …. Don’t hesitate for one min.
Don’t leave this world with one single fence un-mended. Love thy neighbor as thy self and get right with God.

I love my dad SO much and will miss him everyday.
I hope that as he looks down on me (and my family) with pride, that he realize just how proud I am of him and how grateful I feel to call him dad.

I love you daddy!

Thursday, June 5, 2008


The service today in Corpus Christi was beautiful, full of songs, faith, and inspirational readings. Along with this was my wife Bami's reading of the Eulogy she wrote. I have only seen one other human being display such power and it was when one of my best friends lost his 2 year old little girl to a tragic accident. Both were led by faith in their response and both inspired all who listened and watched their demonstration of true love and trust in God. Below is Dale's Eulogy that Bami read today:


I’ll apologize ahead of time. If you let me get on a soapbox… I am going to take the opportunity, besides I have a lot to say about this man. You probably won’t believe me but this is the “edited version” ☺. After all, I am my father’s daughter… I’ll take the long way around a story hopefully coming full circle to an actual point.

My dad was born w/ hemophilia. A blood disease that was a constant threat to his life from the day he was born until Saturday morning. He faced a lifetime of challenges because he had dyslexia during a day and time when there was really no awareness.

He had made and started his life many times through marriages, children, divorce, and sickness and although there were hard times he never gripped or complained. As a matter of fact he spent the majority of his time listening to all of us grip and complain.

My dad was an Amazing listener. He didn’t ever bore you with a pushy opinion. He only gave advice if you asked for it. He never fed your self-pity with stories of his own “well you think that’s bad … listen to what happen to me!” …… No, He would simply allow you to go on and on while nodding his head and smiling as if he agreed: “of coarse YOU are right and they were so wrong”. And @ the end of the conversation it never dawns on him that you didn’t ask “Dale how was your day?” He just gives you a big Ol’ hug and reassures your soul that everything indeed will be OK.

My dad LOVED to fix things (and take things apart). He took Great pleasure and pride in his work. Every single customer was his friend. And if you don’t think so just ask them. He knew everything about them. Their life stories, their pet’s names, all about their kids….

He never hesitated to reach out his hand.
Even if the monetary compensation was not adequate he was just happy to help. No one ever quite understood this about my dad. Probably because it is so hard for people (especially in this day and age) to grasp… “The Stuff” you can’t take with you… But the relationships you build with people and the happiness you feel in your heart to help someone else is far greater then anything you “earn” in this world.

My dad LOVED to cook! As passionate as he was about cooking I do believe he loved feeding us even more. You could feel his heart surge as he ushered people through the assembly line to “fix a plate”. His smile would be bigger than Dallas if he could look around a room to find people eating, drinking, telling stories, laughing, and just truly enjoying themselves. Sometimes he wouldn’t even get a plate of his own but that’s ok b/c it was worth it. =)

My dad Loved to laugh! Oh and when you got him going he would NOT stop. Red faced and doubled over with maybe a few hits to the table with his hand…. Hopefully, for your sake, it was a good joke. -- But if not you could just laugh at my dad laughing. He loved hearing all of about people’s funny stories and embarrassing moments. He did love a good joke. Unfortunately he could never tell it right. Every time he would try to repeat it, the punch line, people, actual premise of the joke would be changed, or backwards.

This is so hard.

My dad is a fixture in all of our lives. Whether that fixture is big or small, used everyday, or hardly at all -- it is there. He has touched us deeply and we should hold onto that. My brother is so much like my dad. He is the most gracious host, the peacekeeper, he’s kind hearted, and has the most generous soul. I also am like my dad, but I’m sure that is becoming quite apparent through this letter. I know Sally will miss as much as I do the way he used to put his hand on the small of your back and lead you into a room.
My dad never went first.

The only regret I have is the conversation that was never had between him and I. My dad discussed, to anyone who would listen and with great knowledge, life, politics, religion, world events, history, humor, cars and boats, faucets, tile, etc. etc. – but I never asked him point blank if he himself believed in Jesus. Perhaps some of you struggle in your own personal beliefs as well.

I hope today I can shed some light on this subject through my dad.

Jesus is much like the man I have just described: a carpenter, ready to break bread with loved ones and total strangers alike, extent his hand expecting nothing in return, never holding anyone in judgment, a man of compassion, who is selfless, humble, loving, trusting, and the list goes on.

My father lived his whole life in this light and walked the path that all of us should follow, although humanity causes it to be bumpy sometimes. For this I have no doubt what so ever that Dale McDougal is walking hand in hand with Jesus himself right through those pearly gates.
Now he may stop and ask “how did they hang this much weight on these tiny little hinges?”
But I know where he’s headed.

So – If you admire my dad as I do, and want to get closer to God. Slow down a little. Get your priorities straight. When you’re frustrated, take a breath before you say something you don’t mean. Reach out a hug someone –tight. Invite your neighbors over for dinner and don’t blow it off for another day. When you’re driving down the street, give a friendly farmers wave. =) Take the time to ask the people’s names at the places you frequent often (dad knew the names of everyone @ the grocery stores, gas stations, and hardware stores… he also called them friend). Focus on all the good that surrounds you and surrender the bad.
All of us want to leave this world a better place. I believe my dad did just that. I hope when you walk out of here today you’ll feel encouraged to do the same.

You were always bigger than life dad and now you’re free.

I love you daddy!

Memorial Service Information


I wanted to provide you some information regarding the two memorial services for Dale.

Thursday, June 5th at 11:00am
St Bartholomew Episcopal Church
622 Airline Drive

Saturday, June 7 at 5:00pm
Center Church located next to the McDougal farm at
15708 NFR 2902, Abernathy, 79311

Dale and Sally

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

In Memory of Dale

Hello friends and loved ones. This is Brian, Dale's Son-in-Law. As most of you know by now, we have lost Dale Glenn McDougal to a stroke Sunday, June 1st, 2008. In order for those who wish to remember him in this way, we have set up this blog so that, as a community of loved ones, we may communicate our feelings, tell stories of his life, and generally say good bye, each in our own way. We will also post information that is not easily conveyed through obituaries, etc. I encourage each of you, even if you have never "blogged" before (this is my first time), to stretch yourself by sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences.

To begin, I would like to share with you a letter my wife (whom I could not be more proud of) wrote today regarding her feelings and experiences related to the loss of her father, Dale. Additional information will be added but again I hope many of you will add your own entries


I come to you today very very sad. I lost my dad on Sunday.

I was on vacation with my husband, family, and dear friends when my Mom called with news that my dad was in the hospital. It felt like the longest day of my life bouncing from buses, airplanes, and rental cars to get to the hospital. I didn't have to get there to see that he was gone. My heart knew it long before I walked into his hospital room.
My dad had a massive stroke. He also has hemophilia which is a bleeding disease that doesn't allow your blood to clot. With all strikes against him he had no chance for survival.
My brother, step-mother, and I were in complete agreement on what had to be done so Sun. afternoon we removed his life support.

It was by far one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Although I knew it was just a shell.... he looked as though we could just rip off all the tubes and he could just sit up and give us a big hug.....

I laid on his chest while he took his last breaths and prayed for God to come personally get him and take him home.
My dad was born with a broken body and he has struggled and fought to be here with us his whole life. He never once complained or put his burden on others. He Loved Everyone with all of his being. I don't know anyone as generous, humble, and kind as my dad. He was a Shining example of how you should treat other people. I know when he was here on earth Jesus smiled on him often.
Today he is in a place where he feels no pain, there is no suffering, and joy reigns.
He deserves ALL of that!

People ask me "how are you doing?" ..... It always feels like the right thing to ask but its rather a silly question. If you stop and think about it.
How would you be doing.....?....
We all have fathers and no matter how old we are we feel like little children when we loose a parent.

I'm sad. I miss. I'm remembering.

Somethings I've noticed though about how others grieve:
When you mad, when you say "what am I going to do?", when the rug feels like it getting pulled from underneath you..... all of these feelings are so valid ----
But when you have faith ..... it feels alittle different.

For me:
It's a little bit different.... when I feel the "how this effects me" feelings .... I quickly know in my heart that I'm thinking of just that "me" .... when I turn those thoughts around and think about my Dad the feelings change. I feel peace, joy, love ...... I think of his smile, his hugs, his laughter .....
I think about how I have No regrets!
My dad LOVED me. He KNEW I loved him.
What more do you need?

That within its self, is Gods greatest gift. and I know I experienced it to the fullest .....

I have great pride in my relationship with God. I see his light in the darkest places and I revel in his light when his presence is clear. My heart guides me in all of my decisions.
Where I struggle is right now ---
When Faith meets Humanity.

I want to scream Why -- but I know the answer
I want to think ... he's not going to see his grandchildren grow up ---- yet I know that's not true
Dad, I'm not finished with you yet ---- but this is not about "me"

I don't know what I "feel" because my human emotions are trumped by Gods grace.
The min. I am sad God fills up my heart like a tea cup overflowing

I feel blessed b/c of this but I still miss my dad.....

Love is complicated. God's love, parents love, children's love, spouses love ..... it has its ups and downs. sometimes its frustrated, sometimes it's soothing. It can be loud or soft. I can be fulfilling and yet sometimes feel empty. Comforting, encouraging, awesome and scary.....

So to answer the inevitable question "how are you doing" or "how do you feel?"

Well ---

I feel LOVED

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayer.
They DO make a difference.

In my dad's honor I would like to continue doing what I do best and what I know he passed down to me --
I would like to Love on all of you the best way I know how ....
with all my heart!